Return of the Living Dead Part 2 (1988)

Director: Ken Wiederhorn

Starring: James Karen, Thom Mathews, Michael Kenworthy

Curious kids unearth the barrels that previously helped revive the dead, which proves the second time’s an undead charm.

‘Return of the Living Dead’ was a bad movie, but it was a good bad movie that turned out to be entertaining and understandably became a cult classic. Unfortunately I can’t say the same for ‘Return of the Living Dead 2’. This was just a bad movie.

The humour in ‘Return of the Living Dead 2’ is more stupid than funny and the film suffers badly from intentional over-acting. Uhm, come to think of it; maybe it wasn’t over-acting…maybe the acting was just plain bad. James Karen and Suzanne Snyder, especially, were annoyingly bad. I swear, Suzanne Snyder will never go down in film history as a scream queen! Ugh, enough already! Dana Ashbrook was by far the film’s biggest asset – as TV repair guy Tom Essex, who also becomes the film’s protagonist. Ok, young Jesse Wilson (Michael Kenworthy) also served as a protagonist.

So, what’s it about? When an army container filled with experimental substance falls off a truck and lands in a river, three kids find it. Out of pure curiosity, one of them manages to open the container, releasing a gas that covers a nearby cemetery like a mist – bringing the dead to life. As it turns out, those who inhale the gas also eventually becomes living dead.

This is an incredibly noisy film with all the irritating screaming from the cast – so much so that I had to turn the volume down a few notches. This together with the over-acting and silly humour made the film almost unbearable. I honestly couldn’t wait for the film to end.

Action sequences and good practical effects were added during the final act, which made it a bit more tolerable. Even so, the film in general was more annoying than entertaining.

Would I watch it again? No.

The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)

Director: Robert Fuest

Starring: Vincent Price, Joseph Cotten, Virginia North

Doctor, scientist, organist, and biblical scholar Anton Phibes seeks revenge on the nine doctors he considers responsible for the death of his wife.

From what we learn throughout the movie, Dr Anton Phibes’ wife was treated by nine doctors, but they failed to save her life. Not able to speak after a car crash, Phibes invented a way to have his voice heard by using a speaker, or rather what appears to be a gramophone. Horribly scarred, he uses prosthetics and make-up to appear normal.

Out for vengeance, Phibes kills the doctors one by one in the most horrific ways. I must be honest, these killings were highly improbable and by no means realistic, but this is a horror comedy after all and many of the kill scenes were more funny than horrible. I believe this was done intentionally. Being a lighthearted film, it goes with the territory.

The detectives trying to crack the case mostly serve as comic relief characters and therefore not to be taken seriously. They discover Phibes is killing the doctors according to the Ten Plagues of Egypt, and must now try to protect the doctors who are marked for death.

Would I watch it again? I don’t think so.

Night of the Demons (1988)

Director: Kevin Tenney

Starring: Cathy Podewell, Alvin Alexis, Hal Havins

Ten teenagers party at an abandoned funeral parlor on Halloween night. When an evil force awakens, demonic spirits keep them from leaving and turn their gathering into a living Hell.

I’m still shaking my head in disbelief at how bad this film was! Where the heck do I even begin to tell you how atrocious ‘Night of the Demons’ is!

Considered by many as an 80s horror classic, I beg to differ. ‘Night of the Demons’ is bad on every level. From the (very) bad acting, to the bad make-up effects, the bad script, the bad dialogue…

This horror comedy is so terrible that I actually believed at one stage the acting was intended to come across as bad, being a horror comedy. Or wait, is it a comedy horror, or a horror comedy? At times it looked like a stage production. They even have monologues!!!!

As with most teen slasher horror films, guys are depicted as sex hungry maniacs, while (most of) the girls are the resisting kind. Yawn, cliched… So, they’re trapped inside an abandoned crematorium, and one by one they become possessed after the most unbelievable (and laughable) seance ever seen in a film. If this was meant to be scary, it’s not working. This is a very cheap and bad film that’s not even good as a comedy! It is just mindless and stupid, and the acting is cringe worthy!!!

It’s hard to believe ‘Night of the Demons’ was followed by two sequels and a remake. (Then again, the 2009 remake only earned just over $600,000 on a $10 million budget. That figures…no one was interested in seeing it again…)

Would I watch it again? Ugh, no!

Dolls (1987)

Director: Stuart Gordon

Starring: Ian Patrick Williams, Carolyn Purdy-Gordon, Carrie Lorraine

A group of people stop by a mansion during a storm and discover two magical toy makers and their haunted collection of dolls.

Before ‘Puppet Master’ and ‘Child’s Play’, Stuart ‘Re-Animator’ Gordon made ‘Dolls’. Therefore, ‘Dolls’ is perhaps the film that propelled the killer dolls genre into mainstream cinema.

I loved the setting in the gothic mansion. The confines of the mansion made it that much more creepier. I also enjoyed the very different characters. The film also illustrates how incredibly ungrateful some people can be at the hands of good Samaritans. Probably the most unlikely of heroes is Ralph (played by Stephen Lee), who stole the show for me. He was sincere and affectionate (to a point) and one of the most likable characters. Ian Patrick Williams was also very good as house master David Bower.

Unfortunately, the acting from most of the other actors deemed the film more comedy than horror. Even if intended as a horror comedy, the humorist elements outweighed the horror elements by far. Thus, the similar ‘Puppet Master’ was more enjoyable and more memorable. The Puppet creations were also more realistic. In closing, although ‘Dolls’ was an entertaining film, I prefer ‘Puppet Master’, and off course ‘Childs’ Play’ but the latter is on a completely different level, and far more superior.

Would I watch it again? No.